CAPTAIN H. ALEXANDER GULLOY COMING TO YOUR TOWN!

Bush on Deal or No Deal

I think I just shat my meta-colon.

Mirage On Fire

WWSS?

I'm Just Saying...

Okay, team. Not going for the whole prophet motif, but I gotta point this out:

Obama, the latest in a string of candidates to show up on Letterman's show, appeared just briefly to deliver the night's list.

10. To keep the budget balanced, I'll rent the situation room for sweet sixteens.

9. I will double your tax money at the craps table.

8. Appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin' good.

7. If you bring a gator to the White House, I'll wrassle it.

6. I'll put Regis on the nickel.

5. I'll rename the tenth month of the year "Barack-tober."

4. I won't let Apple release the new and improved Ipod the day after you bought the previous model.

3. I'll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece.

2. Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.

1. Three words: Vice President Oprah.